this mother sucker is epic and you are a fool to read the whole thing
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Richard David Clough
Birthday: November 21th
Current Location: Everywhere lantzville mostly
Eye Color: Green/brown
Hair Color: blonde
Height: 5'11
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right handed thank you very much
but left for the occasional think such as punching people who do surveys in the face...Ow fuck.
Your Heritage: a violent a bloody one no doubt. filled with death and the occasional frollicking in fields with puppies and daisies...
The Shoes You Wore Today: Runners, for running away from scary things like clowns or gay people...I mean overly happy people you homophobic fucks.
Your Weakness: Basic men weakness like annoying female hygene commercials and a few female ones to like chocolate
and Horny men.
Your Fears: The unknown, and steven siegal, or at least when he plays music! LAUGHOUTLOUD!
Your Perfect Pizza: One with razor blade toppings and arsenic in it.... Not for me silly! for you! ;) <3
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: gain super powers, become a human god, become a millionare, get a babe girlfriend, lose my virginity, say something intelligent.......what? I like to set impossible goals for myself
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Oh my, oh dear, oh gosh, you bet you (insert something preferably intelligent or tasty)
Thoughts First Waking Up: mmmm, ahhh, that was a good sleep...hey crap No I AM AWAKE!!! NO I AM STILL TIRED WHY GOD WHY!!!!??!?! WHY MUST YOU BE SO UNFAIR! *tears* *lots of tears*
Your Best Physical Feature: My pudge, chub, lumpiness whatever guys it'll take me far in life and i don't care what you say.
Your Bedtime: Anytime is bedtime! especially if someones going to bed with you ;) unless those mother fuckers are gonna steal your sheets...greedy bitches...
Your Most Missed Memory: Running have naked down my street in the pouring rain. it was exciting...until i realised I am an idiot.
Pepsi or Coke: COKE! I love doing blow! specially of a hookers ass!
MacDonalds or Burger King: He's the fucking king? if I said anybody else he'd cut of my head or draw and quarter me. those commercials are just propaganda, he looks all nice then BAM! he kills your family and throws you in a jail to rot because you bought a burger at another grease pit. jeesus.
Single or Group Dates: Both, specially when they are hot ladies, and their naked...making me wonderful foods then allowing me to make them wonderful foods and clean their apartments... hey wait, what?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: any tea based sugar crystal will suffice for the destruction of your planet or making me hyper.
Chocolate or Vanilla: well we all know tom cruise likes vanilla! (lolz at vanilla sky)... but me I like chocolate, It's just better.
NO not big black men. What are you? a homo?... NO not you tom cruise! please don't sue me...
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee, cappuccino is like watered down coffee for pansies, Oh great you go to starbucks good job you just spent 5 bucks on sugar and beans blended together in a metero sexual fashion statement.
Do you Smoke: Cigars. Like real men do. Or people afraid to show who they really are and cower behind a manly front instead of showing their true sensitive self... :| But i do it cuz I am a real man. Mhm
Do you Swear: To some god if I continue writing ridiculous answers in here i am going to be hunted down by all the readers and killed by chris rock comedy tapes on repeat?
Do you Sing: Beautifully too, reminiscent of an amphibian being emulsified under a wonderfully vibrant yellow tractor
Do you Shower Daily: Of course! and during which I do the above.
and strangley because of which I keep finding plugged in electrical appliances hidden about my shower! oh my family! what practical jokers!
Have you Been in Love: Many times, with food and myself and a couple other things like midgets! they are just so darned cute!
Do you want to go to College: post secondary schooling is for the non creative conformists unwilling to absorb knowledge on their own and willing to pay for the goverment to destroy their futures.
Of course i do.
Do you want to get Married: Haha, if I can trick em into it with donuts.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only when i am reading a cosmo in the back of a sedan heading to shop in victoria...Shutup it was only a hypathetical situation....*shifty eyes*
Do you think you are Attractive: Like a banana is to an orange you know like both fruits but one is more citrusy and one has a good potassium level...Uhm i don't know what that means either.
yah I guess when i'm drunk. ON LIFE! Man getting drunk/high on life is hard I tried smoking a kitten the other day and it just didnt work, it was claws and blood and pain you know? hey I think i'm getting a little of topic...
Are you a Health Freak: sorta
\Do you get along with your Parents: sorta
Do you like Thunderstorms: sorta
Do you play an Instrument: sorta, refer to singing in shower
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: sorta, refer to kitten smoking/drunk on life.
In the past month have you Smoked: sorta refer to manlyness
In the past month have you been on Drugs: sorta refer to chris taking advantage of me...with drugs...*sigh* by making me use them while drunk...what a feg.... god i love him...like a brother...A non incestous one...*trys to crawl out of metaphorical hole*
In the past month have you gone on a Date: there has been many dates in the past month like June 1rst, June 4rth! Every day is a date! what kind of question is this!
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: ROFLMAO@;;MALLXGOTHS;;
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Seriosly how in the hell does this question further your knowledge of me? Like oh wow RICK LIKES COOKIES! Big surprise! So do starving kids in africa you inconsiderate prick.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:Nothing better then a squelling fish having its flesh slowly removed then still bleeding wrapped in rice for my enjoyment... I know it doesnt work that way. I am just sick. Not Michael Jackson sick more like Night of the Dead sick. I so don't touch little boys *shudders*
In the past month have you been on Stage: I was reggie for shakespeare, archie comics and shakespeare whatup wit dat?
no seriously. god damn idiots.wait i was in that play.
In the past month have you been Dumped: HAHAHA! I'm too cool to have a girlfriend to dump me ...I'm so lonely*crys self to sleep*
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I love being naked and that includes in the water man I love knowing someones jumped into water my wang has been in, it's just so satisfying MMMM!...But no, No I have not.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: I am thiefy, but not that thiefy...I stole this survey ha! i am clever like idiot.
Ever been Drunk: Refer to kitten smoking again wait that was so long ago in this survey I don't even know if it makes sense whatever. smoke some kittens and figure it out yourself. yes.
Ever been called a Tease: Cuz I tease people! with tasty treats! like cookies and licorice... I did that with these two little german kids who were lost in a forest once I led them to this nice little old ladies house and the funny thing is it was made of gingerbread. she was really nice, invited me over for steaks the next day. and they were great.
Ever been Beaten up: *shudders at elementary school girls*
Ever Shoplifted: I can't lift a whole shop? are you effing crazy? okay maybe a little one like a barby doll shop. but yeah.
How do you want to Die: Really messy, I cleaned up after society so they can clean up after me.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I don't care as long as it's signifigant makes me happy and I am rich... that isn't too much to ask for is it?
What country would you most like to Visit: the future free republic state of Lantzville, we will rise through your ashes *clenches fist*
Favourite Eye Color: I don't care as long as they shoot lasers or meat! can never get enough meat.
Favourite Hair Color: again with the shooting of meat or lasers
Short or Long Hair: Long hair cuz then if you like fell in a dark place or got stuck in a tree you could totally be like mah beard! then like shimmied down it!
Height: way didnt we go over this?
Weight: Err me or someone else? cuz like fat people like me eat to much so I guess skinny people should get the benifit of the doubt. but I do believe in equality so we'll have us fatties eat the small people and go with it from there.
Best Clothing Style: anything I wear of course! I mean fashion faux is a french way of saying I am wearing really cool clothes! right? oh my...
Number of Drugs I have taken: Why do you ask me the same questions over and over again are you trying to humiliate me like they do in when they dress up in leather and whip each other for sexual pleasure? I didn't take that too far did I?
Number of CDs I own: Enough to kill several ants if stack on each other then dropped on them
Number of Piercings: My nipple and my soul with pain for taking the time to finish this survey with such complicated and long unnescisary answers.
Number of Tattoos: Permantly mark my skin NEVER! or at least not until I can bling it.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Refer to piercing of pain in my soul over this survey.
IF YOU READ TO HERE I REALLY DO COMMEND YOU.
But at the same time pity you, and question your sanity?
Theres groups for people like you don't worry.
<>< Mantrain!
Ps this survey was epic.
Name: Richard David Clough
Birthday: November 21th
Current Location: Everywhere lantzville mostly
Eye Color: Green/brown
Hair Color: blonde
Height: 5'11
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right handed thank you very much
but left for the occasional think such as punching people who do surveys in the face...Ow fuck.
Your Heritage: a violent a bloody one no doubt. filled with death and the occasional frollicking in fields with puppies and daisies...
The Shoes You Wore Today: Runners, for running away from scary things like clowns or gay people...I mean overly happy people you homophobic fucks.
Your Weakness: Basic men weakness like annoying female hygene commercials and a few female ones to like chocolate
and Horny men.
Your Fears: The unknown, and steven siegal, or at least when he plays music! LAUGHOUTLOUD!
Your Perfect Pizza: One with razor blade toppings and arsenic in it.... Not for me silly! for you! ;) <3
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: gain super powers, become a human god, become a millionare, get a babe girlfriend, lose my virginity, say something intelligent.......what? I like to set impossible goals for myself
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Oh my, oh dear, oh gosh, you bet you (insert something preferably intelligent or tasty)
Thoughts First Waking Up: mmmm, ahhh, that was a good sleep...hey crap No I AM AWAKE!!! NO I AM STILL TIRED WHY GOD WHY!!!!??!?! WHY MUST YOU BE SO UNFAIR! *tears* *lots of tears*
Your Best Physical Feature: My pudge, chub, lumpiness whatever guys it'll take me far in life and i don't care what you say.
Your Bedtime: Anytime is bedtime! especially if someones going to bed with you ;) unless those mother fuckers are gonna steal your sheets...greedy bitches...
Your Most Missed Memory: Running have naked down my street in the pouring rain. it was exciting...until i realised I am an idiot.
Pepsi or Coke: COKE! I love doing blow! specially of a hookers ass!
MacDonalds or Burger King: He's the fucking king? if I said anybody else he'd cut of my head or draw and quarter me. those commercials are just propaganda, he looks all nice then BAM! he kills your family and throws you in a jail to rot because you bought a burger at another grease pit. jeesus.
Single or Group Dates: Both, specially when they are hot ladies, and their naked...making me wonderful foods then allowing me to make them wonderful foods and clean their apartments... hey wait, what?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: any tea based sugar crystal will suffice for the destruction of your planet or making me hyper.
Chocolate or Vanilla: well we all know tom cruise likes vanilla! (lolz at vanilla sky)... but me I like chocolate, It's just better.
NO not big black men. What are you? a homo?... NO not you tom cruise! please don't sue me...
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee, cappuccino is like watered down coffee for pansies, Oh great you go to starbucks good job you just spent 5 bucks on sugar and beans blended together in a metero sexual fashion statement.
Do you Smoke: Cigars. Like real men do. Or people afraid to show who they really are and cower behind a manly front instead of showing their true sensitive self... :| But i do it cuz I am a real man. Mhm
Do you Swear: To some god if I continue writing ridiculous answers in here i am going to be hunted down by all the readers and killed by chris rock comedy tapes on repeat?
Do you Sing: Beautifully too, reminiscent of an amphibian being emulsified under a wonderfully vibrant yellow tractor
Do you Shower Daily: Of course! and during which I do the above.
and strangley because of which I keep finding plugged in electrical appliances hidden about my shower! oh my family! what practical jokers!
Have you Been in Love: Many times, with food and myself and a couple other things like midgets! they are just so darned cute!
Do you want to go to College: post secondary schooling is for the non creative conformists unwilling to absorb knowledge on their own and willing to pay for the goverment to destroy their futures.
Of course i do.
Do you want to get Married: Haha, if I can trick em into it with donuts.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only when i am reading a cosmo in the back of a sedan heading to shop in victoria...Shutup it was only a hypathetical situation....*shifty eyes*
Do you think you are Attractive: Like a banana is to an orange you know like both fruits but one is more citrusy and one has a good potassium level...Uhm i don't know what that means either.
yah I guess when i'm drunk. ON LIFE! Man getting drunk/high on life is hard I tried smoking a kitten the other day and it just didnt work, it was claws and blood and pain you know? hey I think i'm getting a little of topic...
Are you a Health Freak: sorta
\Do you get along with your Parents: sorta
Do you like Thunderstorms: sorta
Do you play an Instrument: sorta, refer to singing in shower
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: sorta, refer to kitten smoking/drunk on life.
In the past month have you Smoked: sorta refer to manlyness
In the past month have you been on Drugs: sorta refer to chris taking advantage of me...with drugs...*sigh* by making me use them while drunk...what a feg.... god i love him...like a brother...A non incestous one...*trys to crawl out of metaphorical hole*
In the past month have you gone on a Date: there has been many dates in the past month like June 1rst, June 4rth! Every day is a date! what kind of question is this!
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: ROFLMAO@;;MALLXGOTHS;;
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Seriosly how in the hell does this question further your knowledge of me? Like oh wow RICK LIKES COOKIES! Big surprise! So do starving kids in africa you inconsiderate prick.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:Nothing better then a squelling fish having its flesh slowly removed then still bleeding wrapped in rice for my enjoyment... I know it doesnt work that way. I am just sick. Not Michael Jackson sick more like Night of the Dead sick. I so don't touch little boys *shudders*
In the past month have you been on Stage: I was reggie for shakespeare, archie comics and shakespeare whatup wit dat?
no seriously. god damn idiots.wait i was in that play.
In the past month have you been Dumped: HAHAHA! I'm too cool to have a girlfriend to dump me ...I'm so lonely*crys self to sleep*
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I love being naked and that includes in the water man I love knowing someones jumped into water my wang has been in, it's just so satisfying MMMM!...But no, No I have not.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: I am thiefy, but not that thiefy...I stole this survey ha! i am clever like idiot.
Ever been Drunk: Refer to kitten smoking again wait that was so long ago in this survey I don't even know if it makes sense whatever. smoke some kittens and figure it out yourself. yes.
Ever been called a Tease: Cuz I tease people! with tasty treats! like cookies and licorice... I did that with these two little german kids who were lost in a forest once I led them to this nice little old ladies house and the funny thing is it was made of gingerbread. she was really nice, invited me over for steaks the next day. and they were great.
Ever been Beaten up: *shudders at elementary school girls*
Ever Shoplifted: I can't lift a whole shop? are you effing crazy? okay maybe a little one like a barby doll shop. but yeah.
How do you want to Die: Really messy, I cleaned up after society so they can clean up after me.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I don't care as long as it's signifigant makes me happy and I am rich... that isn't too much to ask for is it?
What country would you most like to Visit: the future free republic state of Lantzville, we will rise through your ashes *clenches fist*
Favourite Eye Color: I don't care as long as they shoot lasers or meat! can never get enough meat.
Favourite Hair Color: again with the shooting of meat or lasers
Short or Long Hair: Long hair cuz then if you like fell in a dark place or got stuck in a tree you could totally be like mah beard! then like shimmied down it!
Height: way didnt we go over this?
Weight: Err me or someone else? cuz like fat people like me eat to much so I guess skinny people should get the benifit of the doubt. but I do believe in equality so we'll have us fatties eat the small people and go with it from there.
Best Clothing Style: anything I wear of course! I mean fashion faux is a french way of saying I am wearing really cool clothes! right? oh my...
Number of Drugs I have taken: Why do you ask me the same questions over and over again are you trying to humiliate me like they do in when they dress up in leather and whip each other for sexual pleasure? I didn't take that too far did I?
Number of CDs I own: Enough to kill several ants if stack on each other then dropped on them
Number of Piercings: My nipple and my soul with pain for taking the time to finish this survey with such complicated and long unnescisary answers.
Number of Tattoos: Permantly mark my skin NEVER! or at least not until I can bling it.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Refer to piercing of pain in my soul over this survey.
IF YOU READ TO HERE I REALLY DO COMMEND YOU.
But at the same time pity you, and question your sanity?
Theres groups for people like you don't worry.
<>< Mantrain!
Ps this survey was epic.
posted by Richard @ 12:47 AM
3 Comments:
At 3:47 PM,
Richard said…
haha, it's ok it made me laugh :)
<>< mantrain
At 1:14 PM,
Courteney said…
ok i just cant get past the kitten smoking thing...i'm gonna have to come rescue your cat:P
i read the whole thing...and i'm still laughing...i should learn not to read your blog unless i'm prepared to laugh really hard.
At 7:40 PM,
VivaLaPinto said…
HAHAHAA1 *RICK LIKES COOKIES!!!*
Am I a fool cause I read the whole thing, and enjoyed it?
And HEY, I'm a midget! You can come over and cook wonderful foods for me then clean my apartment for me ANYDAY! :)
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