Hairy bastards!

I do not know what all this god damned hype about pirates is? Actually let me answer my own question. It's that so called "heart throb" Johhnny Depp (For all of the untainted He's the one who played that emo dude in edward scissor hands). So Johhnny decides to play a drunk pirate in a popular movie called pirates of the carribean designed after a Ride in disney land, Yes that IS what it was Written after. Well, So everyones brainwashed by this movie. Why is it that everytime the media glorifies something it becomes cool? Us white North americans are so bloody media driven it's sad. YES THAT MEANS YOU!

Now I'm going to critically deconstruct a pirate to see if they have anything attractive about them instead of this image media pasted on them...
First off they don't shower and smell like shit that means they dont clean their hair and most likely have lice. They rape and pillage villages/ boats. That means they fuck anything with a hole in it Women/kids/animals
And by now have contracted some sort of veneral disease probably Genital worts or genital herpies. MmmmMMMMmmm OPEN SORES how ATTRACTIVE!!!!
Next most are ugly and disfigured. When they arn't raping they are out at see for months. So most of them engage in well...Sex with other men, No they don't wear their rubbers and don't wash. So just like your hands If your gonna a get them dirty your going to get everything they touch dirty. If I was a chick I totally would not dig that.
Again so they are out for months at sea. Most get scurvy and have no teeth HOT!

So If you don't care how vile and disgusting this person is on the outside lets take a look on the inside of a pirate.

Obnoxious Fuckers who are full of themselves. They have no idea of manners they'll Burp in your face and smells like they dissembowelled themselves if your around them for more then five minutes.

So they are a bit rough around the edges they still might be smart individuals? No they are no different then the street scum you see robbing old ladies and raping kids. I guess if you took Osama And stuck a boat under his feet and taught him to say Arrrr All the girls in the world would want him even if he fucks donkeys....
Oh yeah there intelligence, I guess I get carried away with how fucked they are. So They can't read and can't write. Man that must suck and all you can draw are shitty maps that a kid in grade 2 could easily outdraw...

So their you have it folks before you want to become a pirate or want to fuck one. Beware Your dick/vagina will fall off due to veneral disease and you'll be driven insane by horrible Sounds, smells and stupidity of being around a pirate.

I don't know what the hell the next topic will be but it'll be pre'ee cool I'll give yah that...

You suck more then me.

You just do. I'm sorry it has to be this way...Actually I'm not because you REALLY suck.

Next topic: Pirates are really starting to piss me off.

The innocent look hides the fact he's here to kill you all. 

Damned goons!

Blood sucka's all of em creeping out of there holes to piss you and me off. You know what I'm talking about: Vampires. Anywho Before I get to that I must elaborate on the show a couple weekends ago the kincaide one. It was amazing best show to hit town. Now back onto the topic.

So I still havn't decided what pisses me off more. Vampires, or people that pretend to be them. Yes this is loosely tied into last post because they are usually the same people with the makeup dealy and all. Anywhom, Continuing to as why they piss me off and a couple theories about them. FIRST: They are freeloaders! Most don't pay rent tax or dick all! And we provide their FUCKING health care! WAIT!? VAMPIRES NEED HEALTH CARE? Damn rights especially those pansie ass ones that take blood from blood banks that could be saving children and suck it all to themselves. They live for ever like the greedy fucks they are and just suck the economy out of the area they stay in as fast as they suck the blood out of a human. If they weren't required to be meat/blood drink/eaters they would be vegan assholes promoting their agenda. They also act like the world owes them something and we should all feel sorry for their bitch asses. TOO BAD YOU GET TO LIVE FOREVOR! DEAL WITH IT YOU ARISTOCRATIC ASSHOLES! And aristrocrats is right. They live like them. In there own frivolous way. They aren't couragous, brave or even wise. They big effen pussies that take advantage of women in the night. ANOTHER WORD FOR THAT IS PERVERT!!!!!!! Fuckers. Don't believe their pussies? THEY CAN'T STAND eating healthy foods like garlic. They need what they want: blood. Now personally If I'm gonna give a pint to these assholes I want something in return and not immortality because Im too much of a pansie to face my own demise. But no they can't do dick all to pay anyone back. Because If you wanted em to work it off they'd have to be outside in the sun to do the tasks you need 'em to do like build you a shed. But no they have to do it at night because their pansies asses can't stand a 'lil tan. And that doesn't work because then you have to pay for damned lighting so they can get the work done and then your not making anything out of this deal.

Now that you know Vampires are assholes heres what you do about them. Carve yourself a few stakes and eat a good garlic sandwich. If you ever see a blood sucka you should be prepared to fuck em up! even if they are all like "I'll give you immortality with my divine kiss yadda yadda emo bullshit yadda yadda" Or blow there heads off with a shotty that works too. Thanks for your time next topic will Be: You suck more than me.